Ive noticed the way nighttime falls quickly and�darkness no longer falls slowly. Twilight is now just a fraction of what it once was. The entire valley has been painted yellow and tonight im drinking my night away. White wine, red wine, beer, hard alcohol...etc you name it, ive consumed it tonight...feeling a certain way tonight. Perhaps i am unable to pinpoint exactly which way, but im definitely feeling a certain way to have gotten this far tonight. My 3rd day at the casino today. Really excited for it, really excited to put a lot of this stuff weapos;ve been talking about into action, but im also worried about doing a good enough job, and also worried to be working with some of the people ive been training with. Im really feeling weird tonight. Jates txt msged me while i was at the casino. Really random but she told me she had appendicitis and had to have her appendix removed. So shes been out of comission for the past week. I deleted her number from my phone but i guess she didnt delete mine. Idk. Im just feeling really weird. Been wanting to write. Been wanting to ride my bike. Been wanting to take photos and finish some things ive left undone. My goal tonight is to get very buzzed...right to the brink of drunkeness so that i may not feel anything tonight. Thus far that goal has been achieved. Goodnight.
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